Now where was I….

DSCN2934Denise and Logan, March 16th, St. Baldricks

I’m not even sure where I left off. The time leading up to the St. Baldrick’s event was so charged with energy and emotions that I still feel it today. The gifts that came out of that moment will last me a life time.

There is so much that has happened in the last couple of months, you would think the words would just be pouring out of me, but I’m struggling a little bit, sitting here at my desk, deep in thought about all that has transpired since March 16th.

I thought I was ready to write today, feeling like I wanted to catch up, fill in the gaps, but I sit here scrambling to get my thoughts into sentences. I think I need more time, let it settle in a bit and find its place.

The experience that we shared that day was, amazing. Friends and family, amazing. The people that shared their stories after that day, amazing. The people that gave to our fund raising efforts, amazing. The messages that flooded in before, during and continue to, amazing. Maybe there is no need for words, aside from amazing, that one seems to cover it all.

A friend of mine’s mother sent me a message shortly after we posted our humble attempt at recording the event for my mom. She explained to me  that she was sitting with the shaver in her hand, deciding whether or not to let her daughter shave her head. She was diagnosed with breast cancer and had endured her first treatment. Her hair had already started falling out. She told me that the video link popped up at that time and after watching it she thought, “If Logan and Denise can shave their heads, so can I.” And she did.

I have thought of her every day since. Her message had arrived just minutes before walking out the door. I was only two days into having my new ‘do’ and was contemplating whether or not to wear a hat when I went to pick up the kids at school. No. No hat. It was a quick decision.

I walked down to school without my hat on in Judy’s honor and every day since then I have dedicated that time to her.  Every day from 2:20-2:30, as I walk to school, I think of her and I say a prayer for her, wishing her the best outcome and for the most comfort during her treatments.

Judy will always be a part of my day, even on the weekends when it’s around 2:00 I think of Judy and send her a prayer.

Like anything in life, it never turns out the way we intend and just when I think I know what I want to write about, the real reason presents itself and lets itself free. This post is  clearly meant for Judy. She is one of the sweetest women I have ever known, and that bright light within her has only strengthened over generations as her daughter shines as equally bright.

So today’s post isn’t what I thought it would be, it’s better. It turns out that it’s the day that I honor Judy and all of the people that came forward before and after the event, generously filling my heart with kindness and inspiring me to stay true to myself and to pay it forward. It just keeps getting better and better.

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